Being a pastor doesn’t mean you’re not broken. Be gracious to yourself
Pastor Austen Drake
This is the single most difficult truth I struggle with as a pastor. I have exceptionally high standards for myself because I know the weight of being a pastor and I read the headlines of what happens when men don’t take that seriously. I’m sure that you also feel that weight.
But we also begin to feel a weight, namely, that we begin to believe that because we are pastors we shouldn’t sin anymore. Theologically, we know that’s not true, but in our hearts we find it hard to believe. We know that there are many people that look to us to be their example; we think about passage from Paul that say, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 4:16; 11:1). And we think that we have to be perfect if we’re going to be someone that is imitated, but we inevitably forget all of Romans 7. Paul spends paragraphs lamenting how he hates his sin, but finds himself continuously returning to it. The joy that he finds is in Christ who will “save him from this body of death” (Romans 7:24-25).
The fatal mistake that we’ll make is beating ourselves down and diminishing God’s capacity to make any significant change in our lives when we sin. Martin Luther wrote to his friend, Melanchthon, about his friend’s human weakness, and Luther said this in his letter, “Be a sinner and sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly.” You may agree with Luther, you may not, but the reality that he is painting for us is the one we exist in every day: we will sin. That much is inevitable. However, God repeatedly tells us that if we are going to boast, then we should boast in God. That’s the imperative that Luther implores us to live by – boast in Christ because there is nothing for us to boast in of ourselves. Paul tells us about his accolades in Philippians 3 and he also tells us about his fear in 1 Corinthians, but the message remains the same: Christ is supreme, worthy, and sufficient.
So, Pastor, rest. Rest in Jesus’ finished work. Rest in the Spirit’s ongoing work in you to conform you into the image of the Son. The beauty of the Gospel is that whether we are awake or asleep, conscious of the change or blissfully unaware, God is working in us, to will and to work for his good pleasure.
So, how do we rest in the finished work of Christ on the cross and the ongoing work of the Spirit in our lives?
First, we must be diligent to enter into it, as Hebrews says in chapter 4, verses 10-11, “For whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.” The author of Hebrews is imploring us to persevere. Rest has been won for us and we remain in that rest through perseverance. We must be diligent to remain in that finished work and to remember above all else that the call of each Christian is to be faithful to God. Our identity is not ultimately rooted in a title; rather, it is received in the unshakeable truth of the Gospel and the reality that we are held by the Father and by Christ and no one will snatch us from their hands.
Second, repent often. In my time as a follower of Jesus, I’ve found that the callousness of my heart is generally related to unrepentant sin. That sin causes me to focus too much on myself, whether it be my perceived strengths or shortcomings, my “plight” in life, or a perceived wrong from someone else. Each of these thoughts draw me toward self-deprecation, internalizing lies or half-truths that I’ve come to believe, or some form rumination that is neither constructive nor helpful. Identify the sin, mourn it, repent of it, and move forward. Don’t get stuck in the identity of the victim or the assailant. Embrace the God-given identity of a conqueror.
Finally, we shouldn’t take personal sin lightly. We have to understand the corrosive nature of sin to ourselves and the destructive consequences that it has in all of the relationships that we have with others. Sin will shape the way we see ourselves, as we’ve discussed, but it will also shape the way we see others, God’s Creation, and even God Himself.
So, we should follow this pattern to keep tender hearts that are able to see people purely, examine ourselves honestly, and love God faithfully.
Grieve the sin, repent from the sin, move on from the sin.
What sin do you need to repent of?
What sin have you been ruminating on and it’s time to confess it then move on from it as God would have you do so that you can walk in freedom?