The Process of Relationship Renewal


From Man led to God led
1 Corinthians 3 

Every relationship faces hard times. Lets take a look at 1 Corinthians 3. Here, Paul discusses a process that took the church from loser status to winner status. These fundamental truths still apply. Here is the process that took the church from being man led to God led. It can help you too.


But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?

One of the key characteristics of a loser is their stinkin’ thinkin’. Stinkin’ thinkin’ is anything that breads jealousy and strife.

  1. What triggers jealousy and strife?
  2. In what ways do these triggers show up in your life?


For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not being merely human? What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers.

Many times triggers manifest themselves through selfish intentions. This is evident in the types of things that motivate us, and the goals we set. Apollos and Paul were servants of the Lord, there’s no self in that. Paul also mentioned that we are God’s (not our own) fellow workers.

  1. Who are you working for?
  2. What kind of goals do you set?
  3. How could you begin to position yourself to set Godly goals?


You are God’s field, God’s building. According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw—each one’s work will become manifest (clear), for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done.

This is where it gets tricky. Having intentions of working for the Lord is not enough. You need to take action. As Paul said, “you must build upon your decisions.” If we seek to bring honor and Glory to God in all that we do, our next steps will become clear.

  1. Are you a doer of the Word?
  2. Has God given you goals, are you a doer doing them?
  3. How can you become more confident that what you are doing is for the Glory of God?


If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire. Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

If being a doer is tricky then becoming a be-er is impossible apart from the indwelling Spirit of God. Holiness is a beautiful gift from God. Becoming a Be-er implies the byproduct of holiness is identity transformation. It is a complete heart, mind, and soul transformation. We no longer “do” things because we are suppose to, we “do” them because they are an overflow of who we’ve become. We are God’s dwelling place, temple, servant, workman, friend, and child.

  1. What changes take place in the believer when they move from the doer stage to the be-er stage?
  2. How can you move from believing that God loves you to living out God’s love?
  3. Are there areas of your life that you already experience identity transformation, if so, what can you learn from those areas that may help you grow in areas where you struggle?


Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their craftiness,” and again, “The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.” So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s.

Overcoming the loser mindset happens when we begin to make God’s work our goal, doing whatever is put before us. It begins to transform us into what God wants us to be, influencers. God’s influencers are winners. Winners can engage the world with confidence.

  1. What gives you the ability to engage the world as an influencer rather than the influenced?
  2. What part of the process do you think best fits you right now: are you a loser, worker, doer, be-er or winner?
  3. How could you move at least 3 degrees toward the next step in the process?


  • I need help setting goals.
  • I struggle with knowing what I should be doing for God.
  • I want to better understand what it means to be transformed by God.
  • I need help learning how to be an influencer rather than the influenced.


Contact Chad at to set up a time to talk about your next steps.



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